Day 39: the toddler in me

where did I kill my curiosity of a toddler as an adult. I ask myself the question all the time. It’s not dead. its probably lying dormant somewhere in me. how do i find it. maybe play around. that’s the basic spirit of a toddler like curiosity. a toddler has no sense of what works and what doesn’t. she just plays with whatever she finds her hands on. am i playing enough. probably not. then what is stopping me from playing all i can. maybe the so-called adult responsiblities. but that’s just an excuse to remove myself from the playground. i guess that’s where my curiosity is lost. buried under lots and lots of excuses. then how do i get rid of excuses. maybe work on what is immediately peering in front. what’s that. maybe start with bunch of books sitting in front of me on the table. a toddler does the same. you throw sth new at her. she immediately shows interest in exploration. as soon as she loses interest she moves onto sth else. changes the direction of her exploration. i don’t think I am doing any of that. what I am doing is carrying a bunch of preconceived notions of what is useful and not useful without even trying. of course that would lead to a boring life. i am expecting all sorts of outcomes when i do some work or something in front of me. that removes all the fun out of my curious world. solution here is to just jump in and see what its all abouy. maybe its not for me. maybe its the only thing I want to do which rarely happens. humans are multidimensional. its hard to constrain myself one dimension of one area or topic. time to wake up my inner toddler hiding inside me.